A Passive-Aggressive Steve Jobs?

I have no secret sources to back this up — it’s pure speculation. But at the last Apple press conference (iPod), Steve Jobs allowed that there were some unkept secrets that had been leaked. So I wonder if Apple’s planted a red herring with all these “leaked” pics and video of the notebooks that will be released tomorrow.

What if the a model was made that went in a different direction than what will be announced tomorrow, or an old rejected prototype was photographed and fed to the rumor mills?

What if tomorrow’s spotlight on notebooks brings products that look nothing at all like the “leaked” items?

Then Jobs would be able to stand on stage, and smile, because his audience thinks he’s going to announce what looks like a pretty boring upgrade, and he can announce something totally different, and deal a friendly blow to the rumor sites.

That would please him tremendously I think.

So much fun following predictions for Apple’s “Let’s Rock!” event today.

My prediction is Steve Job’s retirement.

Here’s why:

1. “In the phrase “Let’s Rock,” the rock symbolizes Job’s gravestone (we all should have clearly realized this when his obituary was released). 
2. The rock also hints at the iXcaliber sword in the stone that Arthur (aka Ives?) needs to pull out. 
3. Jobs immenent retirement would also explain the mysterious comment that “our stocks will temporarily drop this fall while we undergo a major product transition…” from the shareholders’ meeting this summer.
4. Jobs loves the Beatle (“I am the Walrus!”)

Arguably, Apple’s most major product is Jobs (Reality Distortion Field), and the transition to Ives and his toilet-smooth product design will cause investors to be wary temporarily, until they see how well it all flushes out.

It’s all very brilliant, and humorously understated in typical Apple fashion. And framed positively as a party — “Let’s rock!”

Hopefully there will be new laptops unveiled (shipping immediately) as well because I really need one. Also on my wish list is an iPod Touch (phoneless) with GPS and camera that we can use to create our Augmented Reality Games for schools (so they don’t have to buy iPhones and 2-year phone contracts).